Nik Daum has appeared on over four hundred magazine covers, making him one of the most recognizable faces in the world.
As the author of Look What I Messed Up and What’s That Smell? The Nik Daum Story, Nik has been invited to speak at luncheons and the prestigious TED conference. His sharp and biting criticism of the “new class” on Saved By The Bell was met with a standing ovation from the audience, millions of views online, and a personal apology from series creator Peter Engel.
This handsome fellow has numerous film and television credits. In the 80s, he made a smooth transition from public access to broadcast journalism with CBS’s acclaimed Nightly Situation Examination which he hosted for less than six years. In 1985, he hosted his first special for the network, The Magical World of Geoducks!, which did not win an Emmy. Many geoducks were harmed during the filming process.
Nik Daum is also a highly acclaimed producer, having been the driving force behind Poop From the Elephants, which he co-developed with J.J. Abrams. The movie has sold over 2 billion copies in the U.S. alone. Its popularity led to a follow-up, Poop From the Elephants Number Two: 2 Poops 2 Furious. His partnership with Abrams ended abruptly over creative and financial differences. Nik dipped his toes into lucrative reality TV with a spinoff of Survivor called Participation Award Island and the will they/wont they antics of INCEL in the City. And who but the academy could forget the short-lived cop drama From the Skillet to the Fire!
Among Nik Daum’s many other credits are The Liberator, a feature film in which he starred opposite William Baldwin as the liberator of the oppressed Hittites; Rampaging Bloodscourge, in which he played the lovable “rat-catcher”, and numerous after school specials for TV. Despite being both friends and former sex partner of Barbara Walters, he has yet to be a guest on The View.
In the past fifteen years, he has also become one of the most successful philanthropists of all time. He donates a great deal of time and energy to the Leukemia Society of America, in memory of his younger brother who not only has no connection to leukemia but isn’t even real. As part of his other charitable pursuits, he is also is a supporter of breasts, cancer, and research.
Nik Daum currently lives with a wife and no dogs in a dark cloud of uncertainty.
As the author of Look What I Messed Up and What’s That Smell? The Nik Daum Story, Nik has been invited to speak at luncheons and the prestigious TED conference. His sharp and biting criticism of the “new class” on Saved By The Bell was met with a standing ovation from the audience, millions of views online, and a personal apology from series creator Peter Engel.
This handsome fellow has numerous film and television credits. In the 80s, he made a smooth transition from public access to broadcast journalism with CBS’s acclaimed Nightly Situation Examination which he hosted for less than six years. In 1985, he hosted his first special for the network, The Magical World of Geoducks!, which did not win an Emmy. Many geoducks were harmed during the filming process.
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Creativity is more than just imagination. It’s the blood, sweat, and urine that go into making those ideas real after procrastinating as long as possible and dripping bodily fluids all over everything.” –NikAmong Nik Daum’s many other credits are The Liberator, a feature film in which he starred opposite William Baldwin as the liberator of the oppressed Hittites; Rampaging Bloodscourge, in which he played the lovable “rat-catcher”, and numerous after school specials for TV. Despite being both friends and former sex partner of Barbara Walters, he has yet to be a guest on The View.
In the past fifteen years, he has also become one of the most successful philanthropists of all time. He donates a great deal of time and energy to the Leukemia Society of America, in memory of his younger brother who not only has no connection to leukemia but isn’t even real. As part of his other charitable pursuits, he is also is a supporter of breasts, cancer, and research.
Nik Daum currently lives with a wife and no dogs in a dark cloud of uncertainty.
Nik has always maintained self-confidence, despite his big head, deformed eye, plentiful dandruff, greasy hair, failing teeth, bad breath, fattening tummy, oily skin, hairy ass, short and thin legs, weak bony knees, fungus-filled cracking toenails, body odor, foot infections, night terrors, car-crash paranoia, tendency to drip urine on his pants, overeating, laziness, general failure with relationships, jealousy, untrustworthiness, trouble falling asleep, and lack of sports ability.
Most people think that an oversized head would indicate an ability to articulate thoughts, “notions” if you will, in a clear, concise manner without fancy language or needlessly long sentences that don’t really contribute additional information to the topic at hand and end up just muddling the point like the ingredients of a poorly assembled cocktail from a bar you wish you hadn’t even ducked into. But in Nik's case, this is wrong.
His failure to articulate thoughts is only matched by the inability to express genuine emotion, highly critical nature of himself and others, indecisiveness, materialism, depression, miserliness, self-doubt, and poor skill in matching games.
If this confident-appearing fellow was wheat, he would be the husk. Any germ of confidence has long been spooned onto oatmeal, leaving only the dry outer covering. His body, also like a husk, has increased wrinkling, uneven balls, back pimples, lack of beard growing capability, large nipples, poor running stamina, bad taste in clothes, allergies, stomach issues, irritable bowels, dislike of seafood, uncertain political views, decreasing math ability, poor grammar, delusions, narcissism, ignorance, height, weight, and lack of proper metaphor.
But all of these issues are overshadowed by Nik’s award-winning* smile.
When his moist, full lips part, it’s impossible to not fall in love with the rows of perfectly aligned teeth that shine like the golden temples Conquistadors hoped to find. Each tooth is more handsome than the next, and they all smell pleasantly of vanilla, sulfur, and composite resin.
Brian Wilson, former Beach Boy, once described Nik's smile as full of “good, good, good, good vibrations” and that it was inspiration for the album Brian Wilson Presents Smile.
Nik described Brian Wilson’s smile as inferior to his own and that it was inspiration for nothing.
Most people think that an oversized head would indicate an ability to articulate thoughts, “notions” if you will, in a clear, concise manner without fancy language or needlessly long sentences that don’t really contribute additional information to the topic at hand and end up just muddling the point like the ingredients of a poorly assembled cocktail from a bar you wish you hadn’t even ducked into. But in Nik's case, this is wrong.
His failure to articulate thoughts is only matched by the inability to express genuine emotion, highly critical nature of himself and others, indecisiveness, materialism, depression, miserliness, self-doubt, and poor skill in matching games.
If this confident-appearing fellow was wheat, he would be the husk. Any germ of confidence has long been spooned onto oatmeal, leaving only the dry outer covering. His body, also like a husk, has increased wrinkling, uneven balls, back pimples, lack of beard growing capability, large nipples, poor running stamina, bad taste in clothes, allergies, stomach issues, irritable bowels, dislike of seafood, uncertain political views, decreasing math ability, poor grammar, delusions, narcissism, ignorance, height, weight, and lack of proper metaphor.
But all of these issues are overshadowed by Nik’s award-winning* smile.
When his moist, full lips part, it’s impossible to not fall in love with the rows of perfectly aligned teeth that shine like the golden temples Conquistadors hoped to find. Each tooth is more handsome than the next, and they all smell pleasantly of vanilla, sulfur, and composite resin.
Brian Wilson, former Beach Boy, once described Nik's smile as full of “good, good, good, good vibrations” and that it was inspiration for the album Brian Wilson Presents Smile.
Nik described Brian Wilson’s smile as inferior to his own and that it was inspiration for nothing.
Nik Daum, vigorous form of ego and ignorance, was born in Indiana in the late Seventies. Following in his deceased parents’ footsteps, as a child he worked in a factory assembling insulation products. Nik’s boss, Big Bobby, was his primary care-giver during his youth. Big Bobby provided food (mostly from vending machines) and shelter, but he could not meet his young employee’s emotional needs. After saving enough money to buy a shotgun, oats, and a cowboy hat, Nik moved to Dallas to start a better life.
In Dallas, Nik mined in open-pit mines. He would separate the minerals from the ore and sort them into different grades, usually based on potency. The strength and the chemical composition of the minerals determined the kind of products that could be made. At the time, most of the minerals were used in building materials, textiles, missile and jet parts, asphalt, paints, and friction products such as brake linings. Some of Nik’s ore might even be in the computer terminal or cassette tapes you are using today!
While Nik took pride in the products he was helping to produce, the exposure to ore and ore byproducts ravaged his body. After a series of minor lung replacement surgeries, Nik left the mines and promptly bought a house. Sitting and computers became his hobbies. The following year, Nik met his first girlfriend named Tammy Tay-Sachs. Their courtship resulted in multiple stillborn offspring but no marriage. Tammy wasn’t ready for long-term commitment, and the relationship ended just as slowly, awkwardly, and with as much paperwork as it started.
Many years were empty and wet with tears. The emotional hole had to be plugged, and Nik began his search for another one true love. A string of failed relationships resulted: Betty the dancer and her childhood issues, Botty and her strict father, and Batty who had both father and childhood issues. With each break-up, Nik understood more about himself–what he had a taste for in women, the meaning of love, the meaning of life, and to avoid women with names ending in “tty”.
But knowledge didn’t equal immediate success, and as the years wore on Nik became more desperate to find someone. He felt like time was running out for him to form a meaningful bond.
Depressed, Nik took to eating. He largely consumed fats and oils such as butter, lard, and oil. Tallow was sometimes eaten, in addition to margarine and linseed oil. Due to expense, pizza rolls were a rare treat.
While Nik is no longer alone in life, eating is a coping mechanism that still remains.
In Dallas, Nik mined in open-pit mines. He would separate the minerals from the ore and sort them into different grades, usually based on potency. The strength and the chemical composition of the minerals determined the kind of products that could be made. At the time, most of the minerals were used in building materials, textiles, missile and jet parts, asphalt, paints, and friction products such as brake linings. Some of Nik’s ore might even be in the computer terminal or cassette tapes you are using today!
While Nik took pride in the products he was helping to produce, the exposure to ore and ore byproducts ravaged his body. After a series of minor lung replacement surgeries, Nik left the mines and promptly bought a house. Sitting and computers became his hobbies. The following year, Nik met his first girlfriend named Tammy Tay-Sachs. Their courtship resulted in multiple stillborn offspring but no marriage. Tammy wasn’t ready for long-term commitment, and the relationship ended just as slowly, awkwardly, and with as much paperwork as it started.
Many years were empty and wet with tears. The emotional hole had to be plugged, and Nik began his search for another one true love. A string of failed relationships resulted: Betty the dancer and her childhood issues, Botty and her strict father, and Batty who had both father and childhood issues. With each break-up, Nik understood more about himself–what he had a taste for in women, the meaning of love, the meaning of life, and to avoid women with names ending in “tty”.
But knowledge didn’t equal immediate success, and as the years wore on Nik became more desperate to find someone. He felt like time was running out for him to form a meaningful bond.
Depressed, Nik took to eating. He largely consumed fats and oils such as butter, lard, and oil. Tallow was sometimes eaten, in addition to margarine and linseed oil. Due to expense, pizza rolls were a rare treat.
While Nik is no longer alone in life, eating is a coping mechanism that still remains.
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Being a social media influencer means that not only am I making other people feel worse about themselves, but I get to feel worse about myself too!” –NikNik has created a 452-week virtual course as well as a one-on-one nude coaching program for people struggling with lack of purpose, giving them the blueprint to his success and the brownprint to helping them on their journey to the bathroom scale.
Nik’s recently published recipe collection of delicious, main dishes and desserts, The Forty Hour Work Eat is selling like delicious, steaming hotcakes. And people have responded amazingly well to his live recipe videos on
Several of Nik’s British clients have lost hundreds of pounds after working with him for just 2 weeks. But it’s not just great in Britain. His programs have personally made money off of people all over the world.
When you meet this no-nonsense, exuberant entrepreneur, you’ll understand why he is at the top of his game and an inspiration to anyone wanting to enjoy both their food and their life.
Nik is more than just an influencer. He’s the lifestyle you wish you had and CAN have if you PM him fast. This month, he’s opening up ten slots for coachable people who want to join the team.
Nik stands at the forefront of the fastest moving technology industry trend: cloud crypto hashtags. He’s spent the past ten years evangelizing an industry-wide shift to the the digital equivalent of billowing water vapor and has helped numerous Fortune 500 companies participate in the trendy public cloud crypto hashtags space.
A calculated risk-taker with #techsmarts, Nik has championed his enterprise and consumer customers to embrace the cloud crypto hashtags future.
Nik is recognized for designing, landing, and leading the strategic cloud crypto hashtags programs for CryptoHA$H, OpenCrypto365, Cloud Wallet, Cumulus Online, Hash-Stash, and Cloudy With a Chance of Hashtags.
As a former sexy hacker, he worked with Anonymous’s less anonymous collective called Knownymous on a variety of hybrid cloud crypto hashtags that are fueling the industry-wide transition to something.
Throughout his 1 week tenure with Coin Dingo, Nik built a reputation for developing business strategies, incubating new business models, and building out the employee cafeteria menu.
In his 1 year tenure with CASHr, he also developed and managed a profitable business model for high-end enterprise services projected to be CASHr’s next giant growth opportunity before they ceased operations.
In the 1 month he was CEO of MoistCoin, his pricing models helped incubate new products into mature revenue-generating engines. Additionally, he spearheaded the company's buzz-worthy “Get Moist” campaign.
Embracing the core values of integrity, innovation, and coreness, Nik consistently ranks among the top 99% and has won a nearly uncountable number of tech incubator awards.*
Nik holds a Finance MBA as well as his own penis. He is a former finance wanker with Stanley Morgan and has 55+ combined years (virtual + actual + imaginary) of experience in the finance and technology arenas, with a focus on scams.
It takes vision to skate to where the puck will be, but Nik is so visionary he skates to where there never was a puck. He’s not even a fan of basketball, no cap.
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We are at the forefront of the greatest technology revolution since flying cars. The future was yesterday. Tomorrow is now. Embrace tomorrow and live in a yesterday powered by cloud crypto hashtags.” –NikNik is recognized for designing, landing, and leading the strategic cloud crypto hashtags programs for CryptoHA$H, OpenCrypto365, Cloud Wallet, Cumulus Online, Hash-Stash, and Cloudy With a Chance of Hashtags.
As a former sexy hacker, he worked with Anonymous’s less anonymous collective called Knownymous on a variety of hybrid cloud crypto hashtags that are fueling the industry-wide transition to something.
Throughout his 1 week tenure with Coin Dingo, Nik built a reputation for developing business strategies, incubating new business models, and building out the employee cafeteria menu.
In his 1 year tenure with CASHr, he also developed and managed a profitable business model for high-end enterprise services projected to be CASHr’s next giant growth opportunity before they ceased operations.
In the 1 month he was CEO of MoistCoin, his pricing models helped incubate new products into mature revenue-generating engines. Additionally, he spearheaded the company's buzz-worthy “Get Moist” campaign.
Embracing the core values of integrity, innovation, and coreness, Nik consistently ranks among the top 99% and has won a nearly uncountable number of tech incubator awards.*
Nik holds a Finance MBA as well as his own penis. He is a former finance wanker with Stanley Morgan and has 55+ combined years (virtual + actual + imaginary) of experience in the finance and technology arenas, with a focus on scams.
It takes vision to skate to where the puck will be, but Nik is so visionary he skates to where there never was a puck. He’s not even a fan of basketball, no cap.
Nik Daum was born in a well-rated hospital in a respectable part of town.
While the babe emerged happy and healthy, it was a difficult birth. Nik's full length mirror, fitted designer suits, and assortment of styling products from the gestation period had trouble making it through the birth canal. Forceps accidentally broke his cherished hair dryer, risking the future of his already flowing, gorgeous hair.
After apologizing profusely and promising he'd take care of the replacement, the doctor finished swaddling the baby.
“Wow, this is the best smelling baby I've ever smelled,” the doctor smiled.
“We know!” Both of his parents replied simultaneously. They looked at each other and started laughing.
That afternoon, Nik was enrolled in the prestigious Peabody School for Babies That Will Eventually Become Men. The school had leagues more ivy on it than Harvard and Yale combined.
In school, Nik Daum excelled in drinking breast milk, math, economics, language, foreign language, earth science, computer science, literature, biology, history, art, music, dance, and making all sorts of long lasting personal connections. He also participated in a variety of sports. While he enjoyed all of them, he was especially gifted in all of them.
–Professor, Harvard Pro
Nik Daum graduated early, with honors, and entered the undergrad program at Harvard Pro. This offshoot of Harvard is more exclusive, expensive, and better.
After graduating from Harvard Pro early, with honors, Nik started work on his masters at Bation University. With masters in hand, Nik was ready to take on the future. Without much trouble, he began a successful career in making money, married his true love, toured the world (except Africa) and bought a house, car, pets, and all the personal electronics he could ever want.
For fun, he preens himself in front of a full length mirror while trying to find the best combination of styling products.
Nik is currently sitting on his couch eating a plain, un-toasted piece of bread as the world revolves around him.
While the babe emerged happy and healthy, it was a difficult birth. Nik's full length mirror, fitted designer suits, and assortment of styling products from the gestation period had trouble making it through the birth canal. Forceps accidentally broke his cherished hair dryer, risking the future of his already flowing, gorgeous hair.
“
Nik is the best smelling baby I’ve ever smelled. And trust me, I’ve smelled a lot of babies.” –Prestigious Doctor“Wow, this is the best smelling baby I've ever smelled,” the doctor smiled.
“We know!” Both of his parents replied simultaneously. They looked at each other and started laughing.
That afternoon, Nik was enrolled in the prestigious Peabody School for Babies That Will Eventually Become Men. The school had leagues more ivy on it than Harvard and Yale combined.
In school, Nik Daum excelled in drinking breast milk, math, economics, language, foreign language, earth science, computer science, literature, biology, history, art, music, dance, and making all sorts of long lasting personal connections. He also participated in a variety of sports. While he enjoyed all of them, he was especially gifted in all of them.
“
Nik is the brightest and most ruthless student I’ve ever seen. He makes Mark Zuckerberg look like a dog turd abandoned on the sidewalk.” –Professor, Harvard Pro
After graduating from Harvard Pro early, with honors, Nik started work on his masters at Bation University. With masters in hand, Nik was ready to take on the future. Without much trouble, he began a successful career in making money, married his true love, toured the world (except Africa) and bought a house, car, pets, and all the personal electronics he could ever want.
For fun, he preens himself in front of a full length mirror while trying to find the best combination of styling products.
Nik is currently sitting on his couch eating a plain, un-toasted piece of bread as the world revolves around him.
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The past is in the past and the present is always becoming the past. Instead, keep looking forward. The future is where the best days are always ahead of you!” –NikSome have attributed this unbridled mindset to his childhood, as since his birth in a dank peat bog, Nik's parents taught him that anything is possible if you set your sights low enough.
Nik's father, a rodeo clown, smelled of hard work and manure. He taught his son to grab the bull by the horns rather than get gored by them. Nik's mother made lemonade and smelled of lemons. She often reminded her son that when life gives you lemons, you should take out a small business loan to open a lemonade stand at a rodeo.
Back then, money was tight and laundry was expensive. Nik dressed in all black to hide dirt, stains, and smells. He nicknamed himself "The Man in Black" until some estate sued him and suggested he change his nickname.
Frustrated, Nik flung his sharp, black hat at the wall. It hit with a thunk, the brim embedded in a wall calendar.
Nik looked at the dates. The hat was stuck in the day after the current day. He smiled.
“I will call myself The Man of Tomorrow”, the man of that day said.
This new attitude enabled several benefits, including better procrastination and criticism skills, lower stress levels, and success pursuing goals as long as the results were always forthcoming.
Nik's new attitude is also lucrative, and it allows him to buy food. Much like a sports car can't zoom without gas, this optimist is also gassy due to a diet consisting primarily of pinto beans, cabbage, and another kind of beans.
Some idiots believe things were better in the past, but not The Man of Tomorrow. As Nik says, the past is in the past and the present is always becoming the past. Instead, keep looking forward. The future is where the best days are always ahead of you!